Through the centuries countries have had disputes, settling them with weighty agreements reached only through the efforts of professional arbitrators, known internationally as leaders. My other half and I have had no such assistance - international or local.

Yet, despite all odds we were able to draft a comparable agreement early in our marriage and have been able to live with it through the decades. At the point this agreement became necessary, we had already navigated through the rapids of who ate the last of the cereal and didn't put it on the grocery list.

We had covered the whole business of who kept the family calendar. We had divided the labor according to outside/inside, heavy/other, mechanical/ folding laundry.

We also had a meeting of the minds about who was 'in charge of' the cars - referring to maintenance, gas, coffee stains and all paperwork dealing with taxes, insurance and inspections.

But we hit an impasse with the liverwurst. You see, I was the keeper of the hearth, staying at home with our baby during the decade preceding the invention of daycare centers. So I made sandwiches each week and froze them for my other half's lunch. This worked for ham, turkey and roast beef, but I drew the line at liverwurst.

I have issues with liver dating back to my childhood. I told my other half that marriage never included liver. I am sure there is something about that in our vows. If he wanted liverwurst sandwiches, he could make them, freeze them and pack them in his lunch. I would never survive smelling liverwurst at 7a.m. or even on Sunday evenings when I made the sandwiches for the week.

So, after much discussion, we resolved this issue. My other half conceded that since I felt so strongly about this, he could make his own sandwiches when he had a yearning for liverwurst. We agreed that sometimes, the 'agreement' had an exception. I remember it as the Liverwurst Accord. This was a critical point in our marital journey.

Since then, I have brought up - well, needed to bring this Accord into play on several occasions. One was ladders. I don't mind doing windows - but the third step on the ladder is my limit. No discussion here. One look at my knees knocking, and my other half took over everything above six feet.

Another Accord occasion was washing my car. I was sure it fell under the indoor/outdoor thing, but my other half clearly felt that I was capable of washing the car myself. So I conceded, tucking it away in my memory bank in case I needed it in future negotiations.

Recently we tried to return to the Liverwurst Accord to solve an impasse. Such a simple thing - filling the birdfeeders. Outdoors - yes. Heavy - no. Difficult - hardly. They need refilling about every three days. And we have 5 feeders and 3 suet holders. It's a time-consuming messy job. We could use an arbitrator here - now - the birds are hungry.