Loose Ends
Sensible shoes
Susan Nienow

I liked them. They were comfortable and a perfect tan color so they went with everything. And I wore them often until one of my kids said, as we were leaving to go out to dinner, "Gosh, Mom. Great sensible shoes."

That did it. Every time I looked at them, they screamed "sensible" - a death knell for those shoes.

I'm afraid of heights so I have never worn a heel over two inches tall. And I steer clear of cowboy boots lest boots lest someone thinks I can ride a horse and am very c a r e f u l where I wear my " b a l l e t s l i p p e r " style shoes. I never graduated b e y o n d skipping in my early ballet classes. The instructor mentioned "tutu," and I was out of there.

My old standbys are tennis shoes. I have a tennis shoe wardrobe. I bought my favorites in black and white - black for winter. They look "sporty" instead of "sensible" but still have laces. The "cross trainers" are for tennis, and the old ones become garden shoes.

I can't keep up with the supersonic speed of hemlines, though. Just last week I went into a clothing store and asked where the pants were. The clerk said, "We still have a few capris left and the cropped pants are here. And we have low rise, classic or contoured waist."

"I thought they were called flood pants," I said. Was I whining?

"That was last year," she said, with what I swear was a sniff.

So I can't keep track of floods or - what did that sign say? Gauchos? They look like the split skirt of the '70s. And where do I want the waist of my pants to fall? That's the question of the decade.

It was the socks and tennis shoes that led one of my offspring to refer to my "farmer" tan feet. So, last time I was in the drug store, I spent 30 minutes in the suntan lotion department reading the labels of the self-tanning products.

Mists, creams or gels promising fair, medium or darkskinned people an even, natural looking tan in a few hours. I bought the brand that turns your skin orange and blotchy. The directions didn't tell me how to mist the left side of my foot when I am right-handed.

Since my female offspring informed me that "no one wears pantyhose anymore," I will have to solve this "tanning" problem or risk exposing my tan lines to the world and offspring scorn.

It's not the tan lines or the shoe styles that really challenge me. It's the colors. I have watched light greens come in every season. One season it's celery, the next it's lime or grass. Now, overexposure has me convinced I can wear one of those shades.

The kids were coming over for supper so I went shopping. "I'd like the kiwi, cropped, wide leg, flat front, and classic waist, please." I learned to order from my kids.

By the time they arrived, I was misted, cropped and green.