Loose Ends
A week without my glasses
Susan Nienow
No, I didn't sit on them or drop them or even step on them. I just lost them. To quote many who have said it before me, "I have no recollection of that." They could be inside or outside. Three of us have looked and didn't even find anything we weren't looking for.

I had them at lunch because I read the Sunday paper which I couldn't do without glasses. Then I headed outside and worked in the yard. At some point I noticed they were gone. I searched around all of the places I worked, and they are gone. Do squirrels run off with glasses?

I have worn glasses since I was nine. They are a part of me. Not having them is like wearing two left shoes - I am always aware that something's not right. Twice I've panicked thinking I have forgotten my purse only to find it on the car seat next to me. Then I remember - my glasses.

In case you have seen me driving, don't call 911. I don't need glasses for distance. But don't ask me to read a cat food label, write a check or polish my nails.

Today I broke down and bought some reading glasses - two pairs. I can't bear the thought of being without glasses. Am I suffering from trauma? And now my neck hurts from looking down to read and then throwing my head back to read the computer screen - neither of which I can do without reading glasses.

Which brings me to the subject of computers. Since my laptop quit, I have been working on an old desktop. It is old enough to reject the updated antivirus program. It is also very cranky.

So in a fit of foolish mid-life crisis mentality, I went with the "other" kind of computer, dropped my old Internet service provider and signed on with a new one. I had been with the old one since the dawn of e-mail and have always had the same screen name - kind of "1960s-ish" as one friend said.

I am struggling with a new keyboard - each one has a different personality. And I can copy a document three times or not at all, and everything I save goes into the same folder.

The Internet provider is making me a little crazy. I haven't figured out how to find the "I want to write an e-mail, please" box without going through six steps. So far I have been calling up a new e-mail, hitting reply and changing the address of the recipient. That's convenient.

Now I have to reinvent myself. Do I go with the reading glasses on the bead necklace or hook them on the front of my shirt? I could buy a case of them and perfect my "losing glasses" talent. I could have my eyes tested and get new prescription glasses to wear all the time. Can I ever trust myself again with glasses that cost more than $9.99?