It's a techno world
Loose Ends
Susan Nienow

And that world just flies by me. I have a cell phone loaded with pictures of my feet, the ceiling and various body parts of the people around me. I know they are in there because I saw them once. If I really needed that picture of my feet, I would have to take the phone back to the phone store - or to my son to find it.

It also stores messages. I know because it has the picture of an envelope in the window. Actually, my phone doesn't store messages - it holds them hostage. The last message retrieved by my other half was a week old by the time I got it. So don't leave me a message if you want me to get it.

If I were mugged when I was on my cell phone, I would have to ask for a time out while I figured out how to take the mugger's picture, record his voice and call 911.

My phone also gets instructions to change the time each spring and fall. Who does that? What else is that person or computer telling my phone to do? I think telephones with a cord are magic, so I really don't get this new technology. I have no personal relationship with my cell phone. Mostly it just makes me mad.

My new computer will play music. I know because I have heard it. I have downloaded a CD - with help - ok, someone did it for me. But I can't find it. It's in there somewhere. I would love to listen to music when I write. And if I could get it to play music, I would really like to download more than one CD.

It also has a camera in it so, theoretically, we can not only talk to our daughter, but she can see us. Just as soon as I figure out how to turn the camera on and send the pictures to her, that is.

I have finally finished resetting the clocks in the house since the time changed. We have more clocks than rooms. There's one on the oven, the microwave, indoor/outdoor thermometer that is reset by a satellite, CD/radio, DVD player, two alarm clocks, one clock radio and that's not counting watches or cars. All but the clock radio are LED, glowing green or red when it gets dark. I don't need a night light in the hallway, anymore.

And I love the technology, but I need that master computer to change the clocks in the house. They don't reset the same way. And the instructions are filed away somewhere in case we need them. But who reads instructions? I am always sure I can change the time faster by pushing buttons than by reading the directions.

Just yesterday I learned that the car wouldn't allow me to fasten my seat belt if the car is going too fast. Isn't that when I need it the most? Who put the car in charge?