Putting down roots
Newcomers try to make their way in Chesterfield
By Susan Nienow CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Debbie Sledz still has a few boxes to unpack after moving to Midlothian from Long Island, N.Y., four months ago.

Nobody has ever written a book named "Moving Can Be Fun." Maybe it's the endless boxes, the painful goodbyes or the daunting task of starting over.

Anyone who has ever relocated knows the challenges of moving to a new place - navigating unknown streets, making friends, helping children settle into school, meeting the neighbors. There's often very little that resembles the life that was left behind.

But it may help those new to the area to know they are not alone. There are thousands of people who begin calling Chesterfield County "home" each year. These are some of their stories:

Newcomer's group

A veteran of 12 moves, Sue Shirley has found her latest one harder than any other. Her husband has retired, and they moved to Chesterfield to be near their daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren.

Because her husband is a minister, all previous moves have taken them to a new church where members welcomed them. Now her husband is filling in at different churches, and Shirley has to make her own way. It has been a year, and she hasn't found her niche yet.

"There is a loss of identity. I feel invisible," she observed. "It's harder to fit in. Everyone's busy. Everyone is welcoming…[but] not inclusive."

Although she's never thought of herself as shy, Shirley admits she may need to become more aggressive. So, she's starting a newcomer's group for women. Meetings will be weekly to give members regular contact with others in the same situation.

"Maybe we will get the husbands together," said Shirley.

Joan Galbraith plans to join Shirley's group. Galbraith is retired, widowed and has left the frozen north to find a new life where her daughter lives. Here only two months, she knows it is too early to expect to have close friends, but "people are very friendly," she said. She's already found a doctor, dentist and a church nearby that she likes.

"Joining the church and meeting a church family is making me feel very good. The music is outstanding," she said. "Nobody's going to come to your door." The toughest part is meeting friends your own age, Galbraith said.

Another newcomer's group member is Marty Peterson. She moved here because her husband retired, and they wanted to be close to their grandchild. They left New York because of the "yucky weather and high taxes." Their entry into the community was through the fitness center in Woodlake and the neighbors. They've met people they like and are busy and connected.

"I was in and out of the Red Hat Society," Peterson laughed. "I really liked the women, but didn't want to go out at night [when most of their activities took place]."

Christy and Geoff Herbst moved here from Colorado with four children. Christy has two daughters, and the family is hosting two foreign exchange students right now. The student from Denmark is here for the year, but the German exchange student lived with them previously and is just visiting. The kids are now in school, and Christy is looking for her own life.

She admits she has two very different parttime jobs: placing and supervising exchange students for the Council for Educational Travel USA and breeding parrots. Calling Surreywood "the best neighborhood ever," she credits neighbors with making her family's transition easier.

Veteran movers, her 12th grade daughter is in her 11th school. The girls are good at moving, but the family had put down roots in Colorado making this move a little harder. Christy's best friend in Colorado became mad when she moved and stopped answering phone calls. "I get it, but I needed someone to talk to," she said.

New Virginians

Donna Callery had a tough first year until she found New Virginians, a group for people who have moved to the area within the last two years. She was membership chairman last year and loved the contact with newcomers. The club has 500 members and 29 special interest groups. "If women don't find what they want, they can start one," she explained.

There is no age limit, but the median age is between 54-60. The interest groups include the lunch bunch, scrapbooking, hiking, golf, supper club, movies, bridge, bunco and the Wanderers group, which takes local day trips by bus. The club doesn't offer as many activities in the evenings or on weekends for working women but is trying to change that.

Callery noted the biggest problem she sees is that women have more trouble making friends when they are older. The kids are gone and no longer provide opportunities to meet other parents. Another difficulty is finding their way around a new place. Maps, the Internet and practice can take care of that, but finding new friends is not as easy.

A Midlothian resident, Callery has moved 16 times, but this time she moved alone. Her daughter has settled with her husband in Sydney, Australia, and she has a son in California and another in Baltimore. She had five criteria when she chose a place to live: near a university, in the sunny south, a large airport, a day's drive from her father who lives in New York, and culture.

"I've done wonderfully," she said, reflecting on her relocation. The club has made a difference. "It is so rewarding to be able to help others."

To contact New Virginians, call Lisa Hatfield, membership chairman, at 270-2676. To learn more about Sue Shirley's group for newcomers, call 739-4209.